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LUE: Mother Issues
Jun. 26th, 2024 06:37 pmMy mother is mad at me. Usually I'd be concerned, or upset, or something, because I don't in general like it when my mom is mad at me. This time, I really couldn't give a shit.
She's mad because I implied that she plays favorites and I'm not among them. Evidence: She has visited Germany (where my brother lives) five times. She has visited Israel zero times. Oh, sure, the whole war thing was her reason for noping out of my wedding - but she never once visited before the war, during which time she visited my brother four times.
In contrast, her estranged sister, my aunt Susan, flew to Israel to see me married. Eyal's family all made it (granted, no one had more than a 45 minute drive, BUT STILL).
And no, I don't hold a grudge against the rest of my family for not visiting. They don't visit Ben either because they can't afford it. My mom only cries poor when it comes to visiting me. And yes, I know, the war - but Susan flew in with the war going on, and it didn't seem to bother her any.
Anyway. I didn't do much more than imply, but she got het up about it, and now she's giving me the silent treatment. Whatever. Honestly I don't think she really does want to visit at all. Every time I've suggested, she puts up objections.
"There are no direct flights from Orlando or Tampa."
"But there aren't any to Munich, either. You can fly out of JFK or Miami."
"I can't afford a hotel."
"Eyal and I can help you with accommodation."
"There are no accessible hotels."
"Here's a list of accessible hotels and AirBnBs."
"I can't get around the Old City."
"My tour guide friend can arrange for a golf cart tour."
"What about Yad VaShem?"
"I can arrange an accessible tour with my tour guide friend."
"There's nothing to do in Beersheva."
"There's the Air Force Museum, Abraham's Well, the ANZAC Memorial, the Negev Museum of Art, and the Eliyahu Levant Chess Center. You can have a good meal at Bialik 26 and there are plenty of other accessible restaurants. Plus I can cook for you, or if you want to cook for yourself, all the grocery stores deliver."
And so on. Yes, she has physical difficulties, but she is not intellectually disabled or helpless. These are all things she can solve or arrange on her own. How do I know she doesn't want to visit?
Because this is what I did when I didn't want to do something. I thought of every reason possible why it couldn't happen. Don't bullshit a bullshitter.
Whatever. Mom's made her choice. Unless I pay for her to fly over, then pay to set her up in luxury, then pay for everything else, she won't come see me. It's just not important to her.
She's mad because I implied that she plays favorites and I'm not among them. Evidence: She has visited Germany (where my brother lives) five times. She has visited Israel zero times. Oh, sure, the whole war thing was her reason for noping out of my wedding - but she never once visited before the war, during which time she visited my brother four times.
In contrast, her estranged sister, my aunt Susan, flew to Israel to see me married. Eyal's family all made it (granted, no one had more than a 45 minute drive, BUT STILL).
And no, I don't hold a grudge against the rest of my family for not visiting. They don't visit Ben either because they can't afford it. My mom only cries poor when it comes to visiting me. And yes, I know, the war - but Susan flew in with the war going on, and it didn't seem to bother her any.
Anyway. I didn't do much more than imply, but she got het up about it, and now she's giving me the silent treatment. Whatever. Honestly I don't think she really does want to visit at all. Every time I've suggested, she puts up objections.
"There are no direct flights from Orlando or Tampa."
"But there aren't any to Munich, either. You can fly out of JFK or Miami."
"I can't afford a hotel."
"Eyal and I can help you with accommodation."
"There are no accessible hotels."
"Here's a list of accessible hotels and AirBnBs."
"I can't get around the Old City."
"My tour guide friend can arrange for a golf cart tour."
"What about Yad VaShem?"
"I can arrange an accessible tour with my tour guide friend."
"There's nothing to do in Beersheva."
"There's the Air Force Museum, Abraham's Well, the ANZAC Memorial, the Negev Museum of Art, and the Eliyahu Levant Chess Center. You can have a good meal at Bialik 26 and there are plenty of other accessible restaurants. Plus I can cook for you, or if you want to cook for yourself, all the grocery stores deliver."
And so on. Yes, she has physical difficulties, but she is not intellectually disabled or helpless. These are all things she can solve or arrange on her own. How do I know she doesn't want to visit?
Because this is what I did when I didn't want to do something. I thought of every reason possible why it couldn't happen. Don't bullshit a bullshitter.
Whatever. Mom's made her choice. Unless I pay for her to fly over, then pay to set her up in luxury, then pay for everything else, she won't come see me. It's just not important to her.
