Anna

My night had already looked to be going badly. Couldn't sleep, tossing and turning, and even a visit from Cheddar didn't help.

Then at 2.45 am, we heard it. The siren.

Fuck.

And maybe it was a sign of just how tired we are, emotionally. We just...kind of stayed in bed.

Finally, an hour later, I got up. I know this is probably the worst thing I can do, but fuck it.

Eyal: Looks like the would-be Messi next door has given up the Beautiful Game.

not thirty seconds later, two soccer balls come sailing over our garden wall

Me: Uh, Eyal?

points to garden

Eyal: A million dollars would never rain out of the sky and fall into the garden.

(NB: I will not be discussing politics or The Situation here and any comments related to such will be summarily deleted.)

Geography

Israel is a small country. It's about the size of New Jersey, and like the Garden State possesses a number of unique microclimates - accounting for the variety and success in Israeli agriculture. There's a misconception that it's all desert, which is complete bollocks. I live in the desert now, but before that I lived in the Central District, which is quite green and forested. Before that I lived in Jerusalem, which is hilly and whose outskirts serves as one of Israel's prime districts for viticulture.

Part of this compact nature? Everywhere is a short (by American standards) journey away. Hence why it's not so much of a big deal that we live in Beersheva and have family and friends in Jerusalem and the Central District.

Language

Hebrew is an interesting language. Speaking Hebrew makes me very happy. I am not perfect at it, but my ability to understand and be understood has grown by leaps and bounds. I only speak Hebrew with most of my in-laws.

I do speak with an accent, but thankfully it's not a very thick American accent. Because I can pronounce the two consonant sounds that trip up most English speakers (the hard "ch" and gargled "r") my accent is usually taken as generically foreign. Occasionally I get taken for Russian, but that's due more to my appearance (Russians in Israel are stereotyped as being light-skinned, light-eyed, and light-haired - and I hit the trifecta.) I don't have the grammatical difficulties and pronunciation peculiarities that Russians have, so people who hear me speak first don't take me for a Russian.

Mind you, I have my own grammar difficulties. Matching the correct object pronoun to the correct verb (it's not the endings, which are consistent, but the prefixes, which change depending on the verb) is a nightmare. I'm still learning verbs (I have most present tense verbs down, and a lot of past tense - but future and imperative are still tough). Vocabulary isn't too hard. I've got a lot of important stuff memorized, especially the ones that you want to be loanwords but aren't (computer, car, taxi, sandwich, e-mail, post office, doctor, clinic, pharmacy, medication, prescription).

Media

Israel has some excellent films and television and literature and journalism.

However.

Israel also has crummy reality television, stupid movies, trashy books, and escapist magazines.

Big Brother is primetime viewing here. That's depressing.

As for films...well, I know that my American friends are embarrassed about the teen movies of the late seventies going well into the eighties. Let me introduce you to a little film from 1978 called Eskimo Limon, a raunchy teen comedy set in the '50s about three horny teenage boys: the bad boy, the good boy, and the fat comic relief. It was a smash hit and inspired no fewer than seven sequels and a 2001 reboot. Shit, even Porky's only had two sequels before it was put out of its misery.

I'm not going to get into the newspapers, except that I stick with the centrist Yediot Acharonot and stay away from the far-left Ha'aretz and Bibi-worshiping Yisrael Hayom. For English coverage I'll read The Jerusalem Post, the oldest continuously printed English language paper in Israel.

I will mention a few Hebrew language magazines. None of the larger men's or women's magazines publishes a Hebrew edition, so local magazines have sprung up to fill the gap. For the ladies, there's At ("You," in the feminine grammatical form) and LaIsha ("To The Woman"). These contain fashion, beauty tips, agony aunts, sex, quizzes, and sex quizzes. For the guys there's Blazer: cars, gadgets, sport, travel, clothes, grooming, and not a few scantily clad models.

That being said, there are quite a few literary journals in Israel for writers, and our friend Robbie has been making his name as a writer of some note these days in said journals as part of Israel's "Generation 1.5," the children who came from the former Soviet Union and grew up with, as Robbie put it, a foot in both worlds (and now a viable literary movement).

Beauty Standards

It's complicated. Basically, if you're not required to dress up, you can dress down and no one will judge you. But if dressing up is required, you better be on your A-game.

You'd think this would fill me with rage. But I like a challenge, and I've found the effort to look my best actually makes me feel better. Besides, I enjoy the fact that I can go to the makolet (think a bodega) in sweats and a t-shirt and Crocs and no one blinks an eye just as much as I enjoy the compliments I get on knee-high boots or a red lip.

Here we are on our wedding day - anime style. Ideas for a title of this anime?

On Sunday we returned from our long weekend at Ein Gedi, and it was a great time. In a lot of ways it was our do-over honeymoon, as the Boston trip - which did have its nice moments - was rather soured by the numerous travel hiccups on the way home, the delay in getting our luggage back, and my severe illness upon return. Whereas a trip consisting of only a 115 km (72 mi) drive will automatically have a lot fewer potential travel hiccups.

We set out on Thursday in the early afternoon. Alex the catsitter had the spare key already, so we simply ate lunch and packed our suitcase with a few changes of clothes and our swimsuits. I also packed my bathrobe (I knew damn well the spa and hotel didn't make any in my size), my coverups, sunscreen, and flip-flops. And we were off.

The drive was pleasant. Once you get past the town of Omer on Highway 31 to Arad, there's not a whole lot. There were, however, horses (Horsey!), camels (Camel!), and goats (Goats!). Yes, if I see an animal, I announce it to all and sundry. We reached Arad and then took a sharp turn into the Judean hills on the Arad-Sodom road, one of the more tricky highways in Israel. See, as you head from 600 m above sea level to 300 m below sea level, the road gets twisty with switchbacks as it would in any hilly area. Add to this the hazards of fallen and falling rock, ibex, and camels. However, we managed without any trouble, and at the junction with Highway 90 turned due north, hugging the Dead Sea shore, to Ein Gedi.

We checked into the hotel around 5 PM. After that we relaxed in our room, watching a movie. About halfway through we got hungry and headed up to the restaurant, which was a made-over kibbutz dining hall. The plain decor aside, the dinner buffet was generous, varied, and delicious. We then returned to our room and finished the movie. Unfortunately we had trouble sleeping that night. Two reasons: I forgot to bring our melatonin, and we missed our furry weighted blankets.

The next morning was rather leisurely. We slept in. Around noon we ventured off the kibbutz grounds (yes, the hotel, spa, etc are all part of a kibbutz - this is how they generate their income). We wanted to eat something different, so we ate a hearty brunch at the Ein Bokek Restaurant. Like many Israeli restaurants, be they Jewish or Arab owned, it was no frills in decor but top tier in food and service. The owner was friendly, the portions were generous and delicious, and everything was reasonably priced. After that we stopped at a nearby grocery store to get drinks and snacks for our room, then headed back to the hotel.

After a stop off at our room to attend to needs of nature and shower off, we changed into swimsuits and robes and headed to the spa. Our appointment for treatment was the next day, but since we had free access, we decided to take advantage. Why not? Free soft drinks, coffee, tea, and snacks - plus use of both pools, sauna, and hammam.

We alternated between cold and warm pools for a bit, then relaxed outside. At six, the spa closed and they kicked everyone out, so we arranged a ride back to our room. While we waited, I read the poem on the wall outside the doors to the spa. It was in Hebrew, but I translated out loud to Eyal, who was proud of me for getting it correct. Poetry isn't the easiest thing to translate in any language.

We showered once again when we got back to our room, changed into warmer clothes because of the nightly chill, and headed up to the cafe - part and parcel of the lobby. There we snacked on excellent pita with dips. We also enjoyed just talking and being together. By ten we were tired out, so we got a lift back to our room. We didn't have as much trouble sleeping that night.

Saturday we had our treatment at the spa, and came out feeling twenty years younger. After that we lounged by the pool outside, enjoying the gorgeous view. Eventually we headed back to the room, and Eyal had an idea. He had really enjoyed a particular restaurant on our last trip to the Dead Sea almost three and a half years ago, but it was in Arad. Would I be up for going? Of course! We showered, dressed, and headed out.

Muza is in Arad, and it's a great pub. It's decorated in football scarves from all over the world, but lots of Israeli scarves especially. The food is solid pub grub and doesn't pretend to be anything else, but the prices are good, the food is good, and the portions are generous. What's not to like?

We headed back and watched another movie before retiring.

In the morning we packed up, checked out, and headed home. On the way home we stopped at MegaPet to get some canned food in the hopes that it would entice Cheddar and Nacho to forgive us sooner.

It worked. They did.

The trip was a great one.

Every two years I like to do a big clear out of my wardrobe. It's not that my style changes all that drastically, but it's better to have a pared down wardrobe that I wear and use as opposed to too much clutter taking up space.

I did notice, though, with this clear out, some ways my style has changed.

1. I wound up putting a lot of patterned, brightly colored clothes in the donate pile. I wound up keeping a lot of mix and match, work ready neutrals.

2. The patterns I did keep are fairly simple. Stripes, small florals, and one elegant paisley.

3. The colors I kept are more on the pastel, muted side. With a few exceptions.

4. Everything goes with at least two other things.

I'm far from a minimalist or capsule wardrobe girlie, but this clear out has me looking forward to my no-buy year.

Today didn't start well. I didn't sleep well the night before. Bad dreams. And I kept waking up. Combine that with some sort of vague feeling of badness in my gut and I just felt icky.

I dealt with the gut issues fairly well, I think. For breakfast and lunch I had the same thing: a single slice of toast with a dab of jam, washed down with peppermint tea. I sipped on ginger ale, meanwhile, as I collated the results of my research among Israelis who have learned English as a foreign language. Let's just say there weren't any surprises.

After lunch, I kept to nursing my ginger ale. Unfortunately, my guts staged a revolt. And while my front end was spared, the back half was certainly not. Okay, so Imodium (not under that brand name, loperamide in Israel comes under the charming brand name StopIt). Eyal kindly turned on the water heater for me, as while loperamide would work on the gut woes, a nice hot shower would most definitely cure the persistent icky feeling.

I was correct about that, by the by. I also noticed that my haircut had the added benefit of cutting my after-shower haircare routine by two minutes - going from 5-6 minutes to 3-4 minutes. Nice.

My gut is no longer staging a revolt, thankfully, but I'm not taking any chances. It's peppermint tea and toast for the rest of the day.

In celebration of my finishing CELTA - and because we both need a break, and haven't taken a holiday since the Boston trip - we are taking a long weekend soon.

Because we aren't traveling abroad this year, and because the only other holiday we're taking this year will be a long weekend of stargazing (we're planning to go during Tu B'Av, the Israeli Valentine's Day, and coincidentally peak time for the Perseid meteor showers), sightseeing, and llama petting in Mitzpe Ramon (45 minutes from Beersheva), we decided to splurge. Instead of staying in an AirBnB in Arad, 45 minutes away from the spa facility at Ein Gedi, we'll be staying at the onsite hotel. Hotel guests get complimentary breakfast, complimentary guided tours of the onsite botanical garden, and complimentary admission to the spa (even without purchasing a treatment). There's a cafe and a restaurant, crafting workshops, a view to die for...and the spa. About that.

We decided to go for the deluxe couples' treatment, top of the line. 20 minutes in the Jacuzzi, 40 minute mud wrap, and 50 minute Swedish massage. And of course, we'll have free run of the spa, as hotel guests. There are two pools, a hammam, a sauna, complimentary refreshments, and a great view of the Dead Sea.

Boston wasn't a bad trip - we had some great moments. Eyal and bikergeek hit it off. We had some excellent Italian-American food. Brookline and Salem were neat. The aftermath of the trip rather soured it, though - the flight back was a nightmare, El Al took a week to return our luggage, and I came down with a nasty case of pneumonia. I'm hoping our long weekend will be the romantic getaway we need.

No need for long haul flights. Just a little over an hour drive, and our oasis awaits.

As CELTA comes to a close (and for the record, I'll be blogging about all that over at Limmud Anglit, not-so-shameless plug), I'm setting myself some small challenges as goals for the year. After all, I have my teaching action plan written out (that was an actual assignment), so why not write out my other goals?

Thus, in no particular order:

Skin Care

I'm pretty happy with my routine, now. Face, body, hands, nails - it's all pretty good. I am restricting my buying, though. I will only replace products as needed. No trends or any of that crap. No need to reinvent the wheel. I exfoliate face and body; I use retinol and vitamin C on my face; I religiously wear SPF 30 at minimum. Everything's working nicely, so why mess with it?

Hair Care

I've bought new shampoo, conditioner, and heat protectant and am committed to it. Also to a more flattering hair style. At most I might get some gentle hair spray to keep things in place.

Makeup

Again, I'm happy with what I have, so I'm committing to only replacing products as needed (i.e., when they expire).

Clothing

I'm not buying any more clothing this year. And I'm clearing out my wardrobe. Seems counterintuitive, but to me it makes sense. I have plenty of clothing I like. I'm going to make the most of it.

Exercise

After CELTA is done, it's back to the gym twice a week. To start. One day of ten minutes on the treadmill, one day of twenty minutes swimming. That's the most I'll commit to doing right now. If I can do more, great. But it's a start. Also stretching ten minutes every night.

Journaling

I've been journaling five minutes a day in my guided mental health journal. It really does help, so that continues.

Spiritual

Lighting Shabbat candles and doing Shabbat with Eyal. And saying "Modah Ani" (I Thank You) every morning and the Bedtime Shema at night. I'd like to do more, but I want to work up to it.

I think these are manageable and bite sized. All of them are things that make me feel better when I do them.