Anna

(NB: I will not be discussing politics or The Situation here and any comments related to such will be summarily deleted.)

Geography

Israel is a small country. It's about the size of New Jersey, and like the Garden State possesses a number of unique microclimates - accounting for the variety and success in Israeli agriculture. There's a misconception that it's all desert, which is complete bollocks. I live in the desert now, but before that I lived in the Central District, which is quite green and forested. Before that I lived in Jerusalem, which is hilly and whose outskirts serves as one of Israel's prime districts for viticulture.

Part of this compact nature? Everywhere is a short (by American standards) journey away. Hence why it's not so much of a big deal that we live in Beersheva and have family and friends in Jerusalem and the Central District.

Language

Hebrew is an interesting language. Speaking Hebrew makes me very happy. I am not perfect at it, but my ability to understand and be understood has grown by leaps and bounds. I only speak Hebrew with most of my in-laws.

I do speak with an accent, but thankfully it's not a very thick American accent. Because I can pronounce the two consonant sounds that trip up most English speakers (the hard "ch" and gargled "r") my accent is usually taken as generically foreign. Occasionally I get taken for Russian, but that's due more to my appearance (Russians in Israel are stereotyped as being light-skinned, light-eyed, and light-haired - and I hit the trifecta.) I don't have the grammatical difficulties and pronunciation peculiarities that Russians have, so people who hear me speak first don't take me for a Russian.

Mind you, I have my own grammar difficulties. Matching the correct object pronoun to the correct verb (it's not the endings, which are consistent, but the prefixes, which change depending on the verb) is a nightmare. I'm still learning verbs (I have most present tense verbs down, and a lot of past tense - but future and imperative are still tough). Vocabulary isn't too hard. I've got a lot of important stuff memorized, especially the ones that you want to be loanwords but aren't (computer, car, taxi, sandwich, e-mail, post office, doctor, clinic, pharmacy, medication, prescription).

Media

Israel has some excellent films and television and literature and journalism.

However.

Israel also has crummy reality television, stupid movies, trashy books, and escapist magazines.

Big Brother is primetime viewing here. That's depressing.

As for films...well, I know that my American friends are embarrassed about the teen movies of the late seventies going well into the eighties. Let me introduce you to a little film from 1978 called Eskimo Limon, a raunchy teen comedy set in the '50s about three horny teenage boys: the bad boy, the good boy, and the fat comic relief. It was a smash hit and inspired no fewer than seven sequels and a 2001 reboot. Shit, even Porky's only had two sequels before it was put out of its misery.

I'm not going to get into the newspapers, except that I stick with the centrist Yediot Acharonot and stay away from the far-left Ha'aretz and Bibi-worshiping Yisrael Hayom. For English coverage I'll read The Jerusalem Post, the oldest continuously printed English language paper in Israel.

I will mention a few Hebrew language magazines. None of the larger men's or women's magazines publishes a Hebrew edition, so local magazines have sprung up to fill the gap. For the ladies, there's At ("You," in the feminine grammatical form) and LaIsha ("To The Woman"). These contain fashion, beauty tips, agony aunts, sex, quizzes, and sex quizzes. For the guys there's Blazer: cars, gadgets, sport, travel, clothes, grooming, and not a few scantily clad models.

That being said, there are quite a few literary journals in Israel for writers, and our friend Robbie has been making his name as a writer of some note these days in said journals as part of Israel's "Generation 1.5," the children who came from the former Soviet Union and grew up with, as Robbie put it, a foot in both worlds (and now a viable literary movement).

Beauty Standards

It's complicated. Basically, if you're not required to dress up, you can dress down and no one will judge you. But if dressing up is required, you better be on your A-game.

You'd think this would fill me with rage. But I like a challenge, and I've found the effort to look my best actually makes me feel better. Besides, I enjoy the fact that I can go to the makolet (think a bodega) in sweats and a t-shirt and Crocs and no one blinks an eye just as much as I enjoy the compliments I get on knee-high boots or a red lip.

I've been an Israeli citizen for almost five years now. I've provided some questions and answers here; feel free to leave your own in the comments.

Have you changed your political views in the past five years?

Not really. Mind you, I've been tracking events in Israel since forever. I, like a lot of left-leaning Israelis, was sorely disillusioned by the events of the early 2000s. That, more than anything, is what led to the slow crumbling of the Israeli left. To sum up, when I arrived in Israel, I leaned left on social and economic issues and center-right on security and defense issues. That hasn't changed. Incidentally, my husband feels the same.

Do you think your move to Beersheva was a good idea?

Absolutely. As much as Jerusalem holds - will always hold - a special place in my heart, living there is just not in the cards. Beersheva has everything I need. And more than that, it just has an indescribable character that aligns with my soul. It's slightly scruffy, a pinch bohemian, somewhat intellectual, and very much neighborhood oriented. You know your neighbors. You help each other out. The climate suits me, too. Winters are mild, and the summer - well, it's a dry heat.

What's your biggest accomplishment since moving to Israel?

CELTA. It's two thirds of a bachelor degree. Now, I had roughly 4/5 of one before - but I didn't have a piece of paper, so that's open to interpretation. Right now I have a piece of paper saying that I've completed a foundation program, so if I choose to complete a bachelor degree, I have serious weight already.

Do you feel like you've created a "chosen family" in Israel?

Absolutely. Other than my close-knit and loving network of in-laws - there's Zahava and Shmuel in Jerusalem, my cousin Avi and his wife Shani in Netanya, Yehuda in Holon, and Robbie, Maya, Peter, Regev, and Esti here in Beersheva. I'm extremely lucky to have them in my life. The most important, of course, is my husband. Eyal and I chose each other.

Have your religious views changed?

Observance has definitely slipped, but I haven't lost my beliefs, nor my curiosity about Judaism. It's a lifelong study, and one that I still love.

Did anything surprise you about the Israeli social services as opposed to American?

I didn't have to fight. It took me about two months to get temporary disability once eligible, and when I became eligible for permanent disability, it only took a psychiatrist report and a neurologist report and that was it. It was easy to get a case manager and social worker. So that aspect was a very pleasant surprise.

Are you over your culture shock?

More or less. Now I help other olim by lending them my rude Israeli, who is very generous with his rudeness. And passing along what proteczia what I have. Paying it forward.

What do you miss about the States?

Mostly little things. The variety of food and drink in grocery stores. The ease of finding affordable clothes in my size. Grape jelly, Natural Ice sparkling water, Fresca, and English muffins.

What is an Israeli cultural trait that still amazes you?

The hospitality and warmth. People find out you're an olah and they wish you luck. One oleh I know had a neighbor bake him a cake to welcome him to the country. People invite you for coffee to commiserate, invite you to Shabbat, ask about your life. People care.

What is an Israeli cultural trait that still makes you cringe?

The driving. There's a lot of road rage, and Israeli drivers can be downright aggressive.

Favorite day in Israel?

So far, the Primate Sanctuary in Kfar Daniel. Monkeys FTW.

If I were traveling to Israel, what should I pack?

Sunscreen and good walking shoes.