notquiteisraeli | Entries tagged with phyiscal health

Today didn't start well. I didn't sleep well the night before. Bad dreams. And I kept waking up. Combine that with some sort of vague feeling of badness in my gut and I just felt icky.

I dealt with the gut issues fairly well, I think. For breakfast and lunch I had the same thing: a single slice of toast with a dab of jam, washed down with peppermint tea. I sipped on ginger ale, meanwhile, as I collated the results of my research among Israelis who have learned English as a foreign language. Let's just say there weren't any surprises.

After lunch, I kept to nursing my ginger ale. Unfortunately, my guts staged a revolt. And while my front end was spared, the back half was certainly not. Okay, so Imodium (not under that brand name, loperamide in Israel comes under the charming brand name StopIt). Eyal kindly turned on the water heater for me, as while loperamide would work on the gut woes, a nice hot shower would most definitely cure the persistent icky feeling.

I was correct about that, by the by. I also noticed that my haircut had the added benefit of cutting my after-shower haircare routine by two minutes - going from 5-6 minutes to 3-4 minutes. Nice.

My gut is no longer staging a revolt, thankfully, but I'm not taking any chances. It's peppermint tea and toast for the rest of the day.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Kerach Tesha, "Ito Lantezach"

Recently I was poring over the records from my admission to Soroka Medical Center in November for a mild heart attack (and I am slowly but surely making lifestyle changes to address that unfortunate event). However, one item caught my attention. Amongst the various things the doctors noticed was "diffuse hair loss."

Fuck.

Yeah, I'd kind of been hoping this had resolved itself. I use a very gentle shampoo and conditioner, apply heat protectant/detangler before drying my hair, sleep on a satin pillowcase, and don't color my hair. What gives? Unfortunately, in my case, the genetic short stick combined with unavoidable medication side effects. Them's the breaks. I got new shampoo and conditioner. I'm going to get an actual hair style to add volume and disguise the fact that my forehead is huge (I already have one picked out - thank you Pinterest - feathered layers, fringe, and all). And I'll probably be making use of scarves to cover my hair, just for protection.

On other news of changes since my heart asplode, I have added stretching to my routine. Nothing radical, just 10 minutes at night. Eyal and I agreed that once CELTA ends we'll be hitting the gym again, so stretching is a good thing.

I've also found that compression gloves help a lot with the numbness I'd been experiencing in my fingers. So I can go back to embroidery, as well as not worry about doing a fuckton of typing (because, well, I'll be doing a fuckton of typing).

In lighter news, I had to explain the term "exfoliation" to Eyal. He did get it, and he does like the results on my skin. So there.

Current Mood: calm

1. CELTA continues apace. I taught my first lesson today! My tutor gave me some encouraging feedback, while also pointing out some weaknesses - I could stand to be more organized, as well as work on time management. He also pointed out better methods of presenting the material. Overall he was pleased with my first ever lesson. Of course I was crippled with self-doubt and did not spare myself in the self-evaluation. After the feedback session, I would have run for the liquor cabinet if I had been a drinking woman (and if we had such a thing). As I am not a drinker, and we do not even have a liquor cabinet, I went for the next best thing and ate a miniature Twix and miniature Milky Way (NB: in Israel Milky Way is a Three Musketeers and a Mars Bar is a Milky Way). Still, my lesson was graded Pass (CELTA assignments are Pass/Fail).

2. I am a bit behind with laundry, so I told Eyal that I'd be doing one load a day, taking turns between my clothes and his. He was a little put out that I hadn't put in his clothes today.

"I have nothing to wear to the office tomorrow!" he wailed.

"Let's see, shall we?" I replied. I went into his closet. "Okay, here's an undershirt, and here's a long-sleeved L.L. Bean shirt. Perfect for work."

"It won't be warm enough!"

I rooted through his warm clothes.

"Here's that brown sweater you really like. You can wear that on top. Here's a pair of jeans." At that point I opened his sock drawer. "You want socks?"

"No."

"Okay." I opened his underwear drawer and pulled out a pair of boxers. "Underwear. You have a complete outfit. I'll do a load of your clothes tomorrow."

He gets easily overwhelmed by clothes.

3. With regard to the above - I don't mind it. Every spouse has different care and feeding needs. He takes care with my ridiculously finicky appetite and picky eating, my meltdowns of self-doubt, and puts up with my hot flashes and crankiness. So we care for and feed each other. There have been kinks - and not the fun kind - but it's coming up on a year married and I wouldn't undo it for the world.

4. Our friend Yehuda came down from Holon on Monday for a visit! We had lunch at Goomba, which is an Italian chain. It's...okay? I mean, it's Beersheva, you can't be too picky. It's better than Olive Garden. I know. Low bar. Yehuda is from New Jersey, with a plethora of excellent Italian food, and he agreed that it was acceptable, though not comparable to our beloved mom-and-pop red gravy joints. (I do miss those places, though I make a mean spaghetti and meatballs.) After that we retired to our house and played Taki until it was time to take him back to the train station. He agreed that he'd come down for a longer visit when he could engage a cat sitter for his feline.

5. The cats. Oh, boy. We discovered why Cheddar loves doing a runner onto the patio when we open the front door. He loves to sniff pigeon shit. No joke. He reacts to it like other cats do to catnip. He's weird. Other cats roll in nip, he huffs pigeon doodoo. I don't get it either.

6. I have more energy these days, though you wouldn't know it to see me on class days. Those days fucking drain me to the limit. But every other day I'm doing my work for class, doing my chores, keeping up with life. It's nice.

7. I've managed to cut down to two colas a day, and swapped out regular Sprite for Sprite Zero. I drink a cup of coffee (milk, no sugar) and a glass of orange juice each morning. All these things are good. I eat breakfast (eggs, two pieces of toast with a schmear of butter). My cardiologist didn't recommend any specific diet, simply advised me to eat a balanced diet and try to cut out sweets and junk food as much as possible. So this, I think, is a good start.

8. We're going to game night on Sunday night. Yay!

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Hugo, "99 Problems"

Class started on Tuesday. At 8.30 am.

I am decidedly not a morning person, but it's once a week. I can manage. And I did, though this Tuesday I'll be getting up a bit earlier to get a decent breakfast in my stomach and a cup of coffee. That will keep me level until class is over at 1.30 pm. Yes, they do give us breaks, but they aren't overly long.

For Tuesday's class I had to plan an icebreaker for the students. Our tutor gave us a list of 21 suggestions for icebreakers, and I chose what I thought was a simple one. (More on that later.)

First our tutor went over the expectations he had of us, technical stuff, the usual - anything Marisa (the director of the program) hadn't covered at our Orientation session. He did mention that there were some bugs in the Moodle, but they expected to have them worked out the next day.

After that, we observed him teaching, and took notes. He was an excellent teacher; he managed the students well, kept them engaged, kept them on task, used a variety of tasks to keep their interest, and had a great sense of humor. I noted all these things.

After that, we went over what we noticed about his teaching and what we thought was important to our own teaching styles.

A half hour break, then we did our icebreakers with the students.

I went first. My icebreaker was for the students to find three links relating to their favorite hobby, post them on the class whiteboard, and the rest of us would guess the hobby. It went okay. Two of the students had technical issues, so I simply had them talk about their hobbies. I went first, posting three links about embroidery. One student didn't even know the word embroidery. Maybe I should have gone with baking or writing.

After that I observed my two other classmates doing their icebreakers, then we reconvened - only student teachers and our tutor - to discuss how it had gone.

Since then, they have fixed Moodle, so I've been able to complete two units of the four assigned for this week. After that I'll write up my lesson plan for Tuesday. Yes, I'm teaching a lesson on Tuesday! Wish me luck.

Oh, and I haven't slacked on chores. I've done laundry (still have more to do), scooped the litter boxes, kept up with the dishes, and decluttered the living and dining room because the cleaner is coming tomorrow.

Also, I got a clean bill of health from the cardiologist on Monday. I will be starting an exercise program - twice a week at the gym, and a couple of times a week doing yoga at home.

And that's it.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: The Temper Trap, "Sweet Disposition"

I hate venting about all the ways my body is dysfunctional, but hey, that's what blogging is for.

In addition to impatiently awaiting my cardiologist appointment to find out just how much I'm screwed when it comes to my cardiac issues, I'm really hoping the doctor clears me for exercise and refers me to a nutritionist. I am not terribly keen on losing weight, though I'm not not keen on losing weight. Honestly, I just want to keep myself together, and eating better and exercising are the way to do that. So is quitting smoking, which I'm also doing. Yeah, that's a thing. I am finishing out my (not inconsiderable) stash, which could take another month or so. After that I'll go on the patch, which has helped me in the past.

So, the cardiac issues: I still tire easily. I still lack energy. It bleeds into my psychiatric stuff. Am I depressed because of bipolar disorder? Reeling emotionally because I had a fucking heart attack aged only 44? Does it matter, as long as I do something about it?

There are other issues, too. I'm very much perimenopausal. I've managed to get the hair loss managed. But I still get hot flashes. And again, am I cranky because I'm hormonal? Is it bipolar disorder? Again, does it matter, as long as I manage it?

I still have seizures occasionally. Eyal manages them well. And migraines. Fun stuff. Not to mention recurrent digestive issues, which are the perennial side effect of psych meds.

Topping all this off, I just don't recover from even minor injuries as quickly as I did. I banged my back against the kitchen island almost a week ago. Only today have I been able to go without ibuprofen. It still aches, but I can live with it.

And that's enough for now.

Current Mood: achy
Current Music: Yehuda Poliker, "Pachot Aval Od Ko'ev"

1. Stress echo scheduled for December 15. It can't come sooner. Today I noticed that I'm getting winded walking up the stairs at my house. This...isn't good. Fatigue is a symptom of heart disease. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'd benefit from a stent plus cardiac rehab.

2. I'm looking at different diets and frankly, I'm overwhelmed. Like, there's the Mediterranean diet, right? But there's the Israeli paradox - Israelis eat the Mediterranean diet but have high rates of heart disease (whether Ashkenazi, Sephardi, or Mizrahi). Seems like so many diets have been developed to deal with heart disease but when it comes to evidence...who the fuck knows? I mean, yes, I should lay off the schnitzelonim and ketchup and eat more salatim. I should switch cola for water. Fine. Extremely difficult if not almost impossible, but I get it - intellectually. There will be tears. And gnashing of teeth. And wailing.

3. I have taken another Facebook hiatus, and deleted both Facebook and Reddit from my phone. I have the feeling this will be helpful for my mental health as well as my heart health.

4. I have started enhancing my haircare/skincare routine: putting on upbeat music (morning) or relaxing music (evening); lighting a scented candle or incense; and practicing being especially mindful as I put products on and brush my hair. It's only a little thing, but it's a start?

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Sasson Shaulov, "Tamid Ohev Oti"

1. My interview with CELTA Athens went well, and they offered me a place in the course starting January 7. I have made a down payment on tuition to guarantee my spot. Yay!

2. Saw the cardiologist. Dr. Slutsky (stop giggling) treats a lot of young women, which is a plus. He ordered a stress echo so he can see the extent of the damage - if any - and decide how to prevent future damage. He specifically said that he avoids invasive testing unless absolutely necessary - a good thing. Blood tests have also been ordered. (If you think his name is funny, imagine the fun Israelis have with the name "Zona"...which is Hebrew for "whore".)

3. My brother-in-law Alon had his 50th birthday party, which was a romp. Good food, cake, sufganiyot, and lots of laughter. He's usually a pretty serious guy, so it was nice to see him loosen up and smile. The last time I saw him loosen up like this was at our wedding. He went out of his way to tell me that our present was the best present he could think of (we gave Alon and Sarah enough money to pay for a date night and volunteered to babysit the boys). Also he imitated a parrot that he knew when he was a kid that had interesting vocabulary. (The boys were out of earshot by then.) Hearing Alon croaking "Maniak! Maniak!" had everyone cracking up. (Maniak means "fucker".) All in all, a great night, well worth the drive to and from Tel Aviv.

4. Today I received a pre-order copy of Az Nashir: We Will Sing Again. It's an anthology of Israeli women's prayers written since October 7, in Hebrew and English. My friend Rachel Sharansky Danziger was one of the editors and contributors. It's really wonderful - a worthy addition to the Jewish tradition of women's private devotions.

5. On order: the Twin Peaks Tarot.

6. Eyal and I have already made our anniversary plans: we're seeing the Toscanini String Quartet in Tel Aviv. Strangely, my therapist was surprised when I told him, saying he didn't realize we were so much into classical music. Well, we are. Very, very, much. Particularly chamber music. A favorite of ours? Beethoven's cello trios, as performed by Daniel Barenboim (pig!), Pinchas Zukerman (cute smile!), and Jacqueline du Pre (team Jackie!).

7. On Wednesday, Eyal asked me if I'd ever heard of a card game called Munchkin. Long story short, a game night involving one of his co-workers and a couple other friends is in the works.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Jerusalem Quartet, Beethoven, String Quartet No. 18 in C Minor Op. 18 No. 4

1. I don't like it when people are too certain. They have a tendency to make the facts fit their certainties. Which is uncomfortable if you're one of those facts, as the Fourth Doctor pointed out. Personally, I find it a great relief to be able to say, "I don't know." I know things that I would like to be true. I know things that I hope will happen. But I try very hard not to confuse them with the way things are.

2. Interview for CELTA tomorrow. Wish me luck.

3. Cardiologist appointment Tuesday. Also wish me luck. But hey, if I need a stent, Eyal can do it! (Seriously, I'm kidding...but he did design the software to train cardiologists in how to put in stents. And pacemakers. Also how to do cardiac ablations and angioplasty.)

4. My nephews Yosef and Avraham called me last night to sing me Happy Birthday (it was my birthday on the Hebrew calendar) and tell me how much they loved me. If anything could heal my heart instantly, that would be it. I love those boys to bits.

5. I have replaced the hair dryer that shat the bed last week. I am slowly ticking off the items on my to-do list.

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: Lesley Duncan, "Love Song"

1. Family call today. My cousin Ruth begged me to come back to the States. I love Ruth, but it ain't happening.

2. Besides, about the only unsafe thing that has happened to me this week? I fell out of bed this morning. My head hit the sliding glass door, cracking it; the rest of me hit the tile floor. No concussion, fortunately. However, my entire left side is achy as fuck. Especially my shoulder and hip, which took the most impact. Paracetamol has helped get it down to a dull roar. Resting and snuggling with Cheddar has also brought some relief.

3. While Beersheva has not been hit with rockets, our other friends further north have not been so lucky. Mutzi's town, Kiryat Bialik, was hit. Currently he's taking refuge with his brother.

4. The memes. Oh, the memes. They just did not stop. If you're a terrorist group, it's just not a good idea to buy a fuckload of pagers from totallynotthemossad.co.il. Same goes for walkie-talkies.

5. Mind you, we do get blamed for shit we don't do. I mean, Nasrallah probably blames us every time he gets jock itch.

6. I have ordered a CD burner and blank CDs. So...bearing in mind I have three mixes in varying stages of construction, let me know if you want one! I can't promise timely delivery, between not knowing when I'll get my stuff, not to mention the absolutely crap service with Israel Post, but you will get them.

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: Elephant Revival, "Sing To The Moutain"

1. Started my Hebrew course today. It's fun, actually. I'm also looking into taking some professional courses (online marketing, web design). I may as well do my best to keep busy whilst waiting on the CELTA course. At least that way I'll be ready to start my business as soon as I have my diploma. Since the Israeli state has organizations that help people with disabilities start small businesses, including hooking them up with accountants and lawyers, I'm very keen to get things up and running as soon as I can.

2. I don't know that I specified what, precisely, my business would be. Quite simply, it would be teaching English to individuals or groups up to four. My client base would be adults studying for the university entrance exam (most people in Israel delay university until after they finish their military service), older teenagers studying for the diploma exam (yes, it requires English proficiency), and adults looking to improve business English. I have no plans to teach kids (although my seven year old nephew Yosef loves learning English from me and so far can count to 100 and knows his colors and shapes).

3. Laundry continues from day to day and week to week. Laundry is the one a few tasks I don't delegate to our cleaning lady, Tiferet. It's not that I'm a control freak, it's just that laundry is something I can do. Ditto the dishes and cooking. I also de-clutter the dining and living room every Friday before Shabbat comes in. I hate lacking the spoons to do deeper cleaning, but in all fairness Tiferet does a much better job than I would even if I did have the spoons. Anyway, as I was folding Eyal's clothes today, I found myself happy that the quality of his clothing has drastically improved in the four years we've been together. No, I don't pick out his clothes...though I did suggest he switch to boxer shorts (he loved them). I also suggested he upgrade his ill-fitting and raggedy clothes, which he did on our trips to the States. Thanks to the Jockey outlet, he now has supremely comfy underwear and undershirts; Old Navy and Marshalls provided fun t-shirts; Target supplied new jeans. All at better prices than can be found here in Israel.

4. In a couple of weeks the holidays start. We'll probably do Rosh Hashanah with my sister-in-law Orit. That's always nice; I get along extremely well with everyone - all seven of her kids, her husband, her husband's family even. It's lovely to do the Rosh Hashanah seder with them. The singing is lovely, with haunting Iraqi melodies. Then the day after Yom Kippur, we drive to Petach Tikva to Eyal's mother's grave for her memorial. Sometimes it's hard for us to get a minyan (if women counted it'd be easier, but we don't, so ten men older than 13 it must be) to say Kaddish, but it's been easier since last year when Alon (Eyal's brother) started coming. (There's a long story there but I can't get into it here.) After that? I think forever after Simchat Torah will be tainted with mourning...it's the anniversary of the October 7 attack on the Hebrew calendar. Just like we still recite prayers composed to mourn the victims of the Rhineland Crusades and the pogroms and the Holocaust, new prayers will be composed.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Rogue Wave, "Eyes"

Since our checked luggage was lost by El Al (thanks guys!), we are still dealing with their absolutely stellar customer service and do not have the many souvenirs we bought for friends and family and for ourselves.

The one souvenir I did manage to bring home intact? Pneumonia. I'm never going to the States again.